Chicago Bulls Christmas! All They Want Is Not To Be Tone Deaf! (Video Proof!)

Happy Holidays, everyone!

The NFL’s Biggest Fraud Revealed! You’ll Want To Write This Down!

As those of you who read this site may have figured out I’m a Giants’ fan.  When you’re a Giants’ fan in the tri-state area, you usually don’t hate the Jets.  Giants-Jets isn’t some big sports rivalry.  For most Giants’ fans, the Jets are a team they wouldn’t mind seeing doing well so long as it didn’t come at Big Blue’s expense.

The good news for the Jets’ organization and their fan base, is that Giants’ fans aren’t feeling so charitable anymore.   The Jets have become flat out annoying.  Have they taken over the market yet?  No, not really.  After all, they still last won a Super Bowl over 40 years ago.  But, the Jets are drawing notice.  Due to a combination of their participation in HBO’s Hard Knocks, Rex Ryan’s take no prisoners persona and their on the field achievements, things are looking up for the Jets.

Unfortunately, they’re also the NFL’s biggest fraud.

It’s absolutely amazing to me how many people think they’re Super Bowl bound.  Please write this down so you remember you read it here.  THE JETS ARE NOT MAKING THE SUPER BOWL.

For those “experts” who disagree, let’s point out a few problems with the idea of the Jets being good enough to win the whole thing this year.  First, they barely even made the playoffs last year.  If not for a few playoff clinched teams laying down to avoid injuries, the Jets probably wouldn’t have made last year’s post season.  Now, granted, they did a nice job when they got there, but not enough to have me over-value their Super Bowl potential this year.

Why?  We’ll that’s reason number two.  Mark Sanchez.   Does anyone remember that he wasn’t super last year?  Does anyone believe he’ll be that much better in year two?   With rare exceptions, quarterbacks struggle during their development.  Sanchez will be no different.

I hear some of you out there now.  You’re thinking (yes, I can read your minds) that the Super Bowl Champ doesn’t need a quarterback to be much more than a good game manager if he’s got a great supporting cast around him.  After all, Trent Dilfer won a Super Bowl.

True, but don’t forget that Dilfer tasted victory about 30 years ago (ok, if just feels that way, but it’s still a long time ago).  Take a look at who’s QB-ed Super Bowl Champs over the last decade.  There’s an awful lot of great quarterbacks up there.  Not too many stiffs.  Wherever Sanchez ends up on the quarterback scale, it’s a lot of pressure to put on a second year player.

So, if the quarterback is suspect, then at least they’ll be able to run the ball right?  Well, not so fast there.  They let Thomas Jones leave and have gotten some critism for it, but I think that will ultimately be proven to be the right call.  Jones had a nice Jets career, but he’s a senior citizen in running back terms and was coming off of heavy usage these last few years.  Frankly, he was already showing signs of retirement being not so far away by the end of last season.

So, the Super Bowl Bound Jets are now depending on Shonn Greene to be the kind of consistent runner Thomas Jones was.  Maybe he’ll be just that, but there’s a very small body of evidence to go off of, so that’s no given.

Should Greene falter who do you depend on?  LaDainian Tomlinson?  Maybe five years ago.  I’m an LT fan despite feeling that there’s only one true LT (Lawrence Taylor, of course, even with his current legal troubles!).  Tomlinson seems like a decent guy who’s come in with the right attitude.  So, personally, I’m hoping he has a nice bounce back year.  That’s the emotional side of my fandom coming out, but the reality is that Tomlinson like Jones is pretty old for a running back  and also come with the damage that a whole lot of NFL carries will do to a man.  He’s simply not going to be the season long answer at running back.

So, give the Jets credit for upping their profile and for putting together a terrific defense.  These days though, offense has a lot to say about who wins the Super Bowl.  When your quarterback and running backs are question marks, there’s a lot that needs to go right for you to win a Lombardi Trophy.

THE JETS WILL NOT BEAT THOSE ODDS.  Again, please write it down and remember you read it here first.

PS – Didn’t even mention they play in a seriously tough division.  That’s not going to help the march to glory.

PPS – I’d like bonus points for not going with the very tempting but ultimately lame argument that “after all they’re still the Jets”.

Lady Gaga, Among Other Things, Has This 60s Music Icon Twisted!

If you love awkward moments not involving you as much as I do, then do I have a great heads up for you!  

Here it is.  If you ever and I mean EVER get a chance to watch or listen to 60’s dance craze icon Chubby Checker do an interview, do it!  Stop whatever you’re doing and just pay attention to everyone Chubby says.  The man is verifiably delusional and bitter as lemons in winter time.

Last night, I had nothing to do and nothing was on and I stumbled across Chubby doing a TV interview on some random local cable channel. 

Here are the highlights:

Chubby is angry at Dick Clark.  People say Dick Clark discovered Chubby.  He sees it the other way around.  His point is that Bandstand became a huge hit once Chubby started performing his massive hit on it.  I think he has a point.  But, he also thinks Dick Clark should always have him at any event he produces – any event!  Bottom line is that Chubby expected Dick Clark to keep having him on Bandstand in the 70s and 80s and on despite musical tastes changing.  I value loyalty too, but just not realistic here…

Chubby is pissed at Muhammad Ali and is willing to go there even though the man is struggling with Parkinson’s.  Gutsy move, Chubby!  Chubby claims that in the early 60s a young Ali, still know as Cassius Clay then, came to see Chubby for advice.  Chubby says he encouraged Ali to make predictions about what round he’d knock people out in AND to brag that he was the greatest of all time to get more attention.  Ali did both and the rest is history.  Of course, Chubby got no credit as Ali, according to Chubby, never gave him any.  Somehow I’m not believing Ali needed that much of a push to be outspoken and outrageous.

Chubby’s hair.  It’s what he SHOULD be bitter about.  It’s either (A) he’s still styling his hair with the same products from back in the early 60s OR (B) it’s the worst wig known to mankind.  Either way, it’s fascinating!

Chubby has put the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on notice.  If they don’t elect him soon, he’s not making it to the induction ceremony if he feels he’s too old.  Actually, I’m with him on this one.  He should be in.  The Twist was the biggest dance craze ever and only song to chart #1 twice in two different years, plus he had several other hits that went on to be dance sensations too, like The Pony.  Remember that one?

Speaking of dancing… When the host asked Chubby to tell him what he thought were the differences between his music and today’s.  He told him NONE.  Chubby said that when he see’s people dancing to Lady Gaga and the rest he sees them dancing to Chubby.  Basically, he feels that he invented modern dance.  Nice!  Now I know who to blame.  I thought it was Michael Jackson.

Chubby can’t get any respect from DJs.  He doesn’t understand why Top 40 stations won’t play him.  I do.  He’s almost 70 and kids are listening!

Other cool Chubby facts.  He’s been married to a former Miss World for over 40 years.  Somewhere in there, he fathered a daughter out of another relationship who now plays in the WNBA and HE managed to STAY married.   That’s a talent!

He had  a #1 hit on the Billboard Dance Chart in 2008.  Who knew?

And he’s launched a chocolate bar, The Checker Bar, in Europe.  Of course, he’s bitter that no one in the US will distribute it yet.  You knew there had to be a twist!

These Are The Fools Who Lead Us!

Boston Mayor gives Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek credit for football glory in this “ionic” clip…

Shocking that he wouldn’t know the difference between Vinatieri and Varitek since both probably did a lot of work in the community.  And more shocking that he doesn’t know the difference between “iconic” and “ionic”.

We get what we vote for…

Obama Learns A Lesson! Never Say You’re A Fan Unless You Actually Can Name A Player On Your Favorite Team!

I love this video.  You get at least three things out of it.  First, the president may prove to be a better president than his predecessor, but clearly he’s NOT the better pitcher.

Second, President Obama learns a key lesson.  If you’re going to represent yourself as a “southside kid” and a Chicago White Sox fan, good to have your staff brief you on some names of actually Sox players first!

Finally, I like the president, but this video proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that he’s in fact a politician.  Look no further than him wearing a Nationals jacket, but putting on a White Sox hat.  You know, the team that’s his favorite, but he can’t remember any players…   Typical politician, trying to have it both ways.

Next Coach Of NJ Nets Wins College Championship And Won’t Let Door Hit Him On The Way Out!

Coach K just claimed his 8,004th college basketball championship.  Ho hummm…

Earlier today, we heard Mike Krzyzewki say “nyet” again to the rumors that the Russian tycoon soon to own the NJ (aka Brooklyn) Nets would lure him to the NBA with an offer of up to $15 Million dollars per year.

Months ago, we heard Andy Reid say Donovon McNabb would be back with the Eagles next season.  We all know how that turned out.

So.  Don’t be too surprised if good old Coach K ends up in Newark and/or Brooklyn before too long.

Here’s why.  He’s up there in basketball years.  He’s 63.  He’s done it all on the college level.  Duke hadn’t been to a national title game in something like six years.  But, the Blue Devils are back on top now. 

What better time than now to leave.  He’d leave as a winner.  He’d end up with a contract that would take him into retirement with a literal fortune.

Most important and seductive.  Coach K would get a shot at finding out if he can do it on the very highest level the game has to offer.

And that, my readers, will be the thing that ultimately drives him to leave Duke.

Mark my words. It will never be easier or more tempting than RIGHT NOW…

Damn You, Geno Auriemma! My Terrifying Commute From Hell!

This morning I left for work never realizing I’d soon be in hell….

For ten minutes straight the two sports talk stations in town (ESPN & The Fan) were talking Connecticut woman’s basketball at exactly the same time.  Seriously ten minutes.  How is that even possible?  And it was timed perfectly so I was stuck in traffic to boot.

Damn you, Geno Auriemma!

There’s only so much time in my life and I already spend too much of it on sports.  There’s no way I’m getting interested in women’s college basketball.

There are two exceptions to this.  Either, A, my daughter will go on to play college basketball, in which case I will become the game’s biggest fan.  (PS – I see her as a heady point guard, tougher than she looks, usually more concerned about getting her teammates involved, but not afraid to take the big shot)

Or, B, I’m offered a head coaching job at a division one woman’s basketball program.  Two words on that.  Not. Likely.

How To Become Parent Of The Year In 5 Easy Steps! (Must read if you love your children!!)

This is a true story.   Welcome concerned parents.

Here’s how you become a parent of the year candidate.

1 – Rob a convenience story with your husband, wife, partner, etc

2 – Keeping ever mindful of the learning opportunities of a “bring your son or daughter to work day”.  Bring your child with you.

3 – Make a clean get away.

4 – Take a moment to celebrate with aforementioned son or daughter along with spouse

5 – Come to the shocking (although some day even you will see some humor in it) realization, that during the getaway you forgot to take your kid with you.

Said kid is now in care of the authorities and you are certain to be caught and potentially give up your parenting rights.  Which, if you think of the first five steps you took, is probably the greatest favor you could do for your offspring.

That’s it.  Simple.

(Source for the original story came from Mike & Mike this morning on ESPN Sports Talk Radio – so blame them if not completely accurate.  The list on the other hand, is all me…)

WTF Buffalo!? Not Even The Rooney Rule Can Protect You From Chan Gailey!

What is going on up in Buffalo?  They’ve got an owner who is 112 (which isn’t even that big an exaggeration) and wants to win now allegedly.  They started their coaching search with Mike Shanahan & Bill Cowher.

And today, they ended up with Chan Gailey. 

According to multiple reports, Buffalo’s GM who doesn’t even merit being referred to by name here, wanted someone who had been a head coach before and had offensive expertise.  

Or as I prefer to look at it, he wanted a retread who doesn’t know defense.  Be that as it may or may not be, here’s a list of people off the top of my head who would have been better choices, although admittedly some didn’t meet all of Buffalo’s criteria.

First up, Leslie Fraizer who is  the defensive coordinator of a Viking team that just cracked the NFL’s final four behind his stifling defense.  Apparently, Buffalo could not wait around to let Chan Gailey go somewhere else while Frazier’s team continued to make its way through the playoffs. 

I believe in the Rooney Rule and I believe in it because it’s good for business and good for football.  I’m unclear if Buffalo interviewed Frazier but here’s a clear cut case where the Rooney Rule could have helped Buffalo by introducing them to Leslie Frazier. 

(PS – Before Buffalo hired him, Chan Gailey was not going anywhere quick…)

Here’s the rest of my off the cuff list of better choices than Chan Gailey:

Jim Fassel – got a team to a Super Bowl. Gailey’s watched a Super Bowl (on TV).  Ok, I’m kidding.  I think he might have been on the staff of some of those Super Bowl Champ Cowboy teams, before he took over and proved he wasn’t a fantastic NFL coach.

Denny Green – sure looked burned out in Arizona, but did some great things in Minny and so quotable and so better than Gailey

Gregg Williams – New Orleans D – Coordinator & 3 “G” name!

Herman Edwards – he’s been successful overall in the NFL

Jim Mora – had success with Atlanta and rug pulled out in Seattle

Brian Billick – Won a flippin’ Super Bowl and was a Match Game contestant.

I could go on but you get the point…

A Tribute To Baseball’s Crankiest Pitcher – Randy Johnson!

Randy Johnson announced his retirement yesterday after 303 wins and so many other milestones and memorable moments.

Here’s a link to a post we wrote as he approached 300 wins at an age where other pitchers where resting comfortably at the old timer’s retirement home:

https://fullcontactsports.wordpress.com/2009/06/05/randy-johnsons-crazy-journey-to-300/

Congrats on a great and cranky career, Mr. Johnson!