Tag Archives: Arnold Schwarzenegger

Mitt Romney Needs A Celebrity Tough Guy Endorsement. Stat!

1 Feb

Mike Huckabee started it off with Chuck Norris. Today, John McCain jumped on board with Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Governator of California.

If you’re a Republican presidential candidate in 2008, an endorsement from a celebrity tough guy is a must have.

You know Mitt Romney, currently running second to McCain and with no tough guy endorsement, has to have staff scouring ’80s action films and TV series.  Given that I spent a lot of the ’80s (OK, who’s kidding, a lot of my life) watching bad TV and film, who better than me to lend the beleaguered Romney campaign a little free advice?

Here’s one man’s short list of action stars that Romney could draft to support him along with some pros and cons for each:

Sly Stallone

Pros: Plays not one but two iconic figures, Rocky & Rambo, both of which start with the letter “R” as in Romney or “Reagan” who “R”epublicans worship.  Also, both of his characters are underdogs who win in all at the end, which would dovetail nicely with a Romney comeback.

Cons: Rambo couldn’t take the top box office spot this past weekend, coming in second to Meet The Spartans.  Could Stallone’s appeal be slipping?  Then, there’s the baggage of his recent admission of human growth hormone usage.  Why would Romney risk getting caught up in that mess?

Steven Seagal

Pros: Still has wide appeal with straight to DVD audience.  Speaking of wide, has put on some pounds and would be slimming next to Romney.

Cons: There’s the hair.  There’s his ambition to make music.  And simply doesn’t have the name recognition of a Stallone.

 Jackie Chan

Pros: Known world around.  Does his own stunts.

Cons: There’s the language issue.  And he’s not an American citizen, which could backfire on Romney given his stance on immigration.

Jean-Claude Van Damme

Pros: I see the bumper sticker already.  Dammit all, I like Romney!

Cons: Another non-U.S. citizen.  In fact, he’s from Belgium, which most Americans don’t believe exists and would find confusing. In addition, he’s been married like 30 times, which would be awkward for Romney’s family values platform.

If none of the above work, don’t panic.  Romney could always set his sights on A-Lister Bruce Willis or go real old school with pistol packing Chuck Heston.  That’s old testament conservative, baby!