After spending much of the holiday season working doggedly to deny health coverage to millions, conservatives fresh off that likely loss have moved onto a shocking new target.

Santa!

That’s right.  The jolly old elf who spends each Christmas Eve night bringing the world’s children some joy is the latest target of the political right.

“First, it’s healthcare and now it’s the holidays being taken over by liberal big government.” warns conservative leader A. Stankwell Jenkins III.  Jenkins goes on to explain “it’s not that we have anything against Christmas, after all it’s the birthday of one of my favorite people, the baby Jesus.  But, what I don’t like and others like me agree with is Santa’s incursion into our homes with the full support and aid of the US Government under direction of our foreign-born president.”

When probed for proof of a connection between Santa and the US Government, conservative leaders point to mainly two pieces of purported evidence.  “What I’d like to know is how this round fellow manages to break into homes across the country at basically the same time every year and yet is never caught.  You’ve got to have police involved in this cover up,” asserts Bud Rick Stallings Jr, Jenkins’ chief of staff at his public advocacy organization, Conservatives Against States Hegemony or CASH for short.

“Second, there’s the overt support of the US Military who tracks and aids Santa during his yearly deliveries” explains Stallings, who supplied this link as further proof:

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/index.html

(Note from Full Contact  – In fairness, it can’t be denied that from the link above it’s pretty clear the US Military is very aware of all of Santa’s movements)

Stallings goes on to further explain the concerns of CASH.  “What we don’t like is some stranger coming into our homes uninvited and uncontested.  Sure, he’s supposedly leaving gifts, but who’s to say what kind of information he’s collecting and all with the full support of the liberal US government.  I’m telling you it’s nothing short of a brilliant conspiracy to get government into our homes.  It’s not enough they’re in our healthcare, our wallets, now they want to be in homes and looking around.  That’s just plain scary to me.”

Conservatives like Stallings and Jenkins, are targeting Santa for more than just being in league with the US Government, however.  For most, there’s a basic philosophical problem with Santa.

Jenny Ray Evans-Moskowitz explains.  “For conservatives, America is not about hand outs or free rides.”  Ms. Evans-Moskowitz, is an aspiring conservative talk show host, who records show inherited much of her 5.6 million dollar net worth from the estate of her late father, Ray Gene St. Evans , who made a fortune in the sixties and seventies in the sweat shop and slum lord industries.

“What we object to” Evans-Moskowitz goes on “is children or for that matter anyone getting something for nothing.  And worse yet, it’s not something for nothing.  I’m paying for it.  You are paying for it.”

When asked how, Evans-Moskowitz replies “the military aids santa, the police aid santa.  Who do you think they get their money from? Why me and you of course.  And giving something to poor people is simply un-American and wrong”

Stallings chims in “Look, I have no problem with kids getting gifts.  But, it ought to be gifts their parents had the decency to buy for them.  These rugrats from do nothing parents too lazy to pursue the American dream shouldn’t be given gifts basically paid for by the US taxpayer.”

Some have questioned how conservatives, many of whom profess to have deep and typically Christian beliefs, could possibly come out against Santa.

The Reverend Pete Lane Walker Komisky is the chaplain for CASH.  He was eager to try to make us understand how a Jesus loving man of the cloth or for that matter any conservative could come out against Santa.  So much so, that the Reverend took time to video link to us as his private pilot flew his personal jet to a corporate retreat/Christmas Party in Barbados.  Records show that tax loopholes allowed the company in question to deduct the cost of the Christmas party from their annual tax obligation. 

Komisky would not address the tax situation related to the retreat he was set to attend.

On other matters, Komisky had this to say.  “Look, I know everyone thinks of Jesus as some kind of hippy, liberal guy.  But, I just don’t think the evidence supports that.  It’s a view that like everything else has been skewed by the liberal American media.” 

At this point, the Reverend took a break to pop open a bottle of Dom Perignon, took a sip and went on.  “The Jesus that I think is more accurate is Jesus in the temple kicking butt.  It’s frequently misinterpreted as Jesus being upset that people were conducting business in a place of worship.  It wasn’t that at all.  It seems quite clear to me that these men were competitors to Jesus’ business interests.  He did what any good business leader would do and worked quickly to up his market share. 

After all, there’s a reason GOD said go forth and be fruitful.  We’re supposed to do good works and profit from them.  THAT’S good for society.  If I get rich, the trickle down to the rest of society is tremendous.  Tell me, who really benefits if some poor kids get gifts for nothing?  They learn nothing and society certainly doesn’t benefit.  The rich get richer because they’re doing GOD’s will.  It’s that simple”

Jenkins sums up conservative opposition to and fear of Santa in the last thing he says to us “after all, there must be a reason Santa Claus wears red…”

Maybe they’re on to something….  Or maybe they’re misguided.  You be the judge.

Merry Christmas to all, conservatives and liberals and everyone in between!

You know you want the full contact.  And we want to give it to you more often.

So, now we’re on twitter.  God help us!

Please follow along.

You’ll find us listed as Tidewaterjacksn.  

No O!!   Kinda like the Buffalo Bills…

OK, so clearly I’m a bit cranky today. 

Stupid seems to be on my mind, having just pointed out Ohio Republican John Boehner’s ignorance, I feel compelled to highlight the shortcomings of his opponents in Congress.

Maybe the reason I’m cranky is that I spent some time earlier today reading reaction to this week’s election results.  Some pundits and a number of (stupid) Democrats have made the case that Democrats should run for the hills.

The theory goes that two Republican wins in Governor’s races in Virginia and New Jersey show that the public is unsure about President Obama’s agenda.  Of course, it shows nothing of the kind.

First off, why the focus on these two races.? Didn’t any of them read about the race for the Rep seat for New York’s 23rd District?  In can you didn’t, in that one, a super conservative forced out the Republican’s nominee only to be trounced by off all things the Democrat in the race.  And this was in a very conservative district!  So essentially in a lay up situation, the GOP clanged it off the rim.  So, why no stories about the end of conservatives?

Getting back to the governor’s races, it’s fair to ask if Obama can take any hint from the results.  There’s a saying that all politics are local and some pundits and Democrats are saying that people were voting on local issues  in VA and NJ and not on the President’s agenda. 

I know people in NJ.  Many.  And I can tell you that Corzine could have been a Republican or Independent and still lost.  NJ simply didn’t like John Corzine.  Whether bad timing or simply bad performance, Garden Staters simply didn’t see many accomplishments.  People in NJ voted against a sitting governor who could not lower the nation’s HIGHEST property taxes and who’s party has a fantastic track record of corruption.  Many of the people I know in NJ voted against Corzine and still support the President. 

As for Virginia, from everything I’ve read the Democrat there simply ran an awful race while his Republican opponent ran a smart race focused on the issues people care most about.  But, bottom line is that despite Democrat’s significant gains there, is it really a surprise when Virginia goes to the GOP??

So back to stupid Democrats…  I read earlier today that this week’s election losses suggested a change in tactics.  They felt they should perhaps not be so on board the Obama bandwagon. 

Nothing could be stupider.

Hear me now, Democrats.  The people voted you in for change.  And that’s what you need to deliver.  The answer is not backing down, but standing up for what you believe in and delivering on the promises you made to your constituents.

I belive John Warner made a very fair point that the climate change bill (as well-intentioned as it may be) might not be the very best use of Congresses’ time when people are struggling to keep their houses, jobs and lives.

So, if Democrats must change tactics, then follow that line of thinking.  Make changes, but make them about what matters most to Americans right now, pocketbook issues.  Work to create jobs and opportunities.

I believe healthcare reform is a big part of that.  It’s time  for Democrats to be bold, get it passed on move on to tackling other big issues that will affect the quality of all our lives.

Better to have an imperfect victory or two to bring to voters in 2010’s midterm elections than the same old same old.

Question:  Are healthcare protesters just stupid?

Answer:  Maybe. 

 But,one of their leaders is clearly ignorant of history.

Seriously, on the day that the President announces that both AARP which looks after the interests of our seniors and the AMA, which looks out for doctors, are both supporting the healthcare reform bill currently set for a vote in the House of Reps, they decide to protest.  But not only protest, which is their right, but to protest stupidly.  That, is their right too, but it’s also an incredible waste of our time.

House Republican leader John Boehner was quoted as saying “this bill is the greatest threat to freedom that I have seen”.

Hmmmmm….  So giving greater access to healthcare to millions of people is a threat to freedom?  Not letting insurance companies drop you just cause you got sick and inconvenience their bottom line is a threat to freedom? 

That’s news to me.

Let’s say that Boehner is part right and that the bill is a threat to freedom.  How can he say with a straight face that it’s the greatest threat ever to our freedom? 

Has the man heard of World War II?  What about the Cold War?  Even 9-11 has to rank above this in terms of a potential of changing the freedom we enjoy.  Not to mention disco music….

Clearly, Boehner and his ilk are off base.  The healthcare reforms under consideration right now must be passed.  More people will be covered.  The neutral Congressional Budget Office confirms the plan will reduce deficits and in case you’re scared of a public option, according to the CBO few people will take advantage of that offering.  So that threat of a government takeover.  Not happening.  At least not for a long while.

The funny thing about this all is that once the reform bill is passed, it will be just like Social Security or Medicare.  The very people who are protesting against it will refuse to ever consider having it taken away.

Mark my words.

Finally!  A good use for auto-tune!

Despite his best intentions, South Carolina’s Rep. Joe Wilson is going to go down as a health care reform hero.  The American public is a lot of things.  We’re easily manipulated on health care reform or for that matter practically any new social programs. 

Ironically, once we have a social program in place like say social security, the American public will fight like hell to make sure it doesn’t get taken away.  So, yes, we do flip flop, especially when we  see the benefit that our admittedly imperfect government can make in our lives.

What the American public does not flip flop on is rudeness toward the president of the United States.  Sure, there are some who will see Joe Wilson as a hero for echoing what they feel, whether what he said was true or not.  And for the record it was NOT.

But, for the overwhelming amount of Americans, there’s a time and a place to heckle an American president.  During an address to Congress while you’re actually a member of Congress, is NOT one of those times.

Joe Wilson is learning that the hard way.  He also fumbled away the political football and with it very precious momentum. 

Coming into his speech last night, President Obama was the man under pressure.  There’s no putting a good face on the ugliness of August.  Clearly, the drive for health care, upon which Obama has placed so much of the future of his administration lost steam.

But, last night the game changed.  The president gave a convincing performance and got a big assistant from Joe Wilson on two fronts.  First, Wilson’s boorish behavior swung public sympathy toward the president.  We simply don’t want our leader treated that way.

Second, Wilson’s fellow conservatives (who should give him a severe beat down politically) were forced all day to answer questions about Joe Wilson.  That, of course, saps their momentum.  Every second conservatives in congress have to answer Joe Wilson questions is a second they can’t be spreading the fear and falsehoods upon which reform opposition is based.

Further, in the president’s speech and the administration’s comments since it was clearly signaled that the public option many people have been worried about is not a “must have”.

So let’s review…

Obama was calm.  Rational.  He adopted a John McCain idea.  He is also willing to go without a public option.  All while his party has majorities in both houses.  He even accepted Wilson’s apology gracefully saying we all make mistakes.  Finally, as if on cue, stats came out today that reported the number of people with out health insurance increased AGAIN this past year.  President Obama has clearly regained some momentum and is looking like the bigger (perhaps slightly) bi-partisan man. 

Joe Wilson lost his cool.  Joe Wilson spent the day apologizing as did his cronies. 

Joe Wilson made a big mistake.  And now it’s going to cost him politically. Health care reform is that much closer to a reality.

And it’s thanks to Joe Wilson’s inability to stop behaving like a jackass.  I knew that’d come in useful some day!

There are few thinking people that won’t cop to the fact that the health care system in this country has some big problems.  Costs keep going up.  Many are uninsured and our outcomes keep getting worse.

I know we Americans love to think of ourselves as number one.  And in many areas, we are.  The cold hard truth is that in health care we can’t make that claim.  Yes, we’ve got some of the best doctors in the world, but despite that we still come up short in many categories.

By now, we’ve all heard the panic about the government taking over health care.  On top of that, we’ve been told/brainwashed for the last three decades by conservatives that government can never EVER work.  This, despite the fact that conservatives have often been in power at the head of our government during the last three decades.  Talk about a hypocritcal message!

When Barack Obama started pressing for health care reform, it looked like it might come about easier than expected.  That, of course, was never to be the case.  Conservatives are back to their usual scare tactics and Americans seemingly spent the summer falling for them.

Only, it turns out that, they’re wrong.  Not only are they off the mark, but it’s a conservative president’s actions that prove conservative dogma wrong-headed.  Government intervention can work and is sometimes in fact needed.

When George W. Bush started bailing out banks left and right this past fall, he had many critics.  Bush was going against the conservative ideals he’s preached and actually used the government in a very activist way to try and save our financial system.  (Snarky aside – after all, for conservatives the health of our banks is way more important than our population’s health)

Many questioned whether the US tax payer would ever see the money handed over to banks again.

Yesterday, came news that to date the bank bailouts have netted about 4 BILLION DOLLARS profit so far.  Something like eight truly big banks have totally repaid their bailouts and another 14 or so smaller banks have too, which adds another 35 MILLION DOLLARS in profits for you and me to the previously mentioned 4 BILLION DOLLARS.  Not a bad return for Joe & Jane Taxpayer and all while suring up our financial system.

Don’t believe me?  Here’s a link to a newspaper article with all the details:
http://www.tampabay.com/news/in-surprise-bank-bailout-makes-4-billion-profit/1032393

Here’s the point.,. Don’t believe that government intervention is never warranted or can never work.  After all, the government won World War II, put a man on the Moon, has kept social security a float for years, and on and on. 

Yes, the government also has the ability to squander ga-gillions.  87 Dollar hammer anyone??  And please!  Keep Senator Byrd away from any chance to name yet another building in West Virginia after himself…

But, Summer is ending.  It’s take to wake up and really think through the issues related to health care.  I’m not sure what all the solutions are.  I do think there may be places where the private sector can do it better than the government.

But, there’s no debating that MILLIONS of people are uninsured.  And those of us who are lucky enough to have insurance are more worried about losing that than even losing our jobs.

We can no longer fall easy prey to scare tactics.  Americans can do anything, including reform health care.

This is the moment.  For all our common good, don’t be fooled by the very same people who opposed social security.  Can you imagine America without social security today?

If we think this through together, if we don’t fall victim to scare tactics, someday our children will feel the same way about universal health care.

Brett Favre, Minnesota’s new starting quarterback and the United States economy have one thing in common.  They’re both not worth following on a day by day basis.

Will Brett play another year?  Will it be for Minnesota?  Will he stay retired?  Who knows, until it happens.

The same is true with the economy.  Each morning on the bus ride into work, I busy myself reading the news headlines on the Blackberry I’m addicted to.  And each morning I look for signs on which way Bush/Obama’s economy is going.  Every day, there are different clues.  Housing starts are up, oh, but wait luxury homes can’t be sold.  GM is increasing production, but consumer spending goes down.  Cash for clunkers is a hit.  No wait, it’s a bomb.   Hold on, it’s a hit again.

You know what?  I’m through with trying to anticipate Brett Favre or the economy.  How will it work out with the Vikings?  How long will he play for?  When will we have a solid recovery and what will it look like?  How much longer until my 401k recoups most of its losses?

Who knows!

It’ll happen when it happens, stupid…

Drinking!  Dancing!  Diplomacy!   That’s how Hillary rolls and change I CAN believe in!

The evidence is :25 seconds in.  Enjoy…

Ok, you’re a Republican Senator from Oklahoma.  You know Sonia Sotomayer is going to get confirmed for the Supreme Court, but you’ve got some questions to ask first.

What’s the best approach to get the answers you need?? 

Why, of course, it’s ethnic humor!  Nothing like dropping in a Ricky Riccardo  reference while you’re grilling the likely first Hispanic Justice.

Personally, I don’t think this is the hugest deal in the world.  I’ve actually used the phrase Senator Coburn used “you’ve got some ’splaining to do” myself to try to get a laugh.  I think it even worked, once.

Just never during Supreme Court Nomination hearings.