It’s a Wonderful Life PLUS Fishbone = Lost Christmas Classic

Merry Christmas to all!  And may you all have a good life!!

It’s part of our human make up to be curious about the grass on the other side of the fence.  Rock stars are no exception.

Guitar gods frequently yearn to be lead singers.  And lead singers often can’t resist the temptation to strap on an axe.  The catch is it seldom works. 

Sure, there are double threats who can sing and play really well, but this post isn’t focused on them. 

Instead, here’s some examples of lead singers who just don’t look right with a guitar.  Not saying they can’t play.  Just saying that they shouldn’t try.  It simply doesn’t work.

Witness Madge looking pained as she struggles to strum.

Love Daltrey, but isn’t being Tommy enough for him?

Anyone believing Mick’s amp is plugged in?  Shhhhhh.  Don’t tell him anything!

I’m on the fence on The King.  It’s clear he actually played a little when he started out in the Sun Records days.  By the Vegas years though, the guitar had transitioned to mainly prop status.  I wouldn’t bet against this one being made out of paper mache.

Happy November!

Finally!  A good use for auto-tune!

You gotta see this to believe it. 

It actually works well together.   Like chocolate and peanut butter….

Today, we said goodbye to Michael Jackson.  Again. 

Yes, the coverage has been nonstop and I do mean it that way.  But, also, I think in a sense we said goodbye to Michael Jackson a looooooong time ago. 

Despite what Al Sharpton thinks or what we’re told he endured, Michael Jackson was odd.  Long ago his behavior verved off into the kind of territory that all his friends at today’s memorial should have challenged.

Leaving aside the very real possibility that Michael Jackson hurt kids, at the very least, by his own admission, Jackson engaged in conduct that was indefensible.  Can you think of another adult male that people would actually bother trying to defend if he admitted to having other people’s kids routinely sleep in his bed?  I can’t.

The deification of Michael Jackson is of course ridiculous.  He was a terrific entertainer and a pop icon who will long be remembered.  He did not, however, save the world.  The closest he got was writing “Man In The Mirror” in which he urged us to look inward to bring change to this planet. 

Good advice.  He should have heeded it more strongly too.

I understand that people are hurting and some of them actually even knew Michael Jackson.  I wish nothing but peace and comfort to his children, family and friends, I really do.

Still, I can’t help but point out some of the hypocrisy at today’s ceremony. 

First off, Al Sharpton.  I think his telling Jackson’s kids that there was nothing strange about their daddy was understandable if he was only trying to make them feel better.  But come on.  Jackson was strange.  He did strange things.  There’s simply no disputing that.  Would Al Sharpton let his kids have a sleepover at Jackson’s house were he still alive?  I’m guessing not.

A lot of the tone of people’s comments had to do with ALL that he endured.  First off, once Michael Jackson was an adult, he brought ALL of that on himself.  Nothing bothers me more than people who are driven to seek fame only to complain about its  horrible downside.

It’s not like Michael pulled a Greta Garbo.  He didn’t leave the spotlight.  His own friends will tell you he was a genius at self-promotion.  Just before he died, in fact, we all know he was rehearsing for a 50 night stand in London.

So which is it?  Did Michael want to be famous or was it all too much for him?  I’m betting on the first option.

Finally, people speak about Jackson’s childhood and how much he had to go through that a kid just should have to deal with.  I don’t dispute any of that.  From what we hear, Jackson did have a pretty crummy childhood and was forced to grow up way too soon.  So, what would that lead us to believe?

Hmmmm…. Perhaps children are best left out of the spotlight.  Jackson, in his own wacky way, seemed to understand that keeping his own kids out of the public eye by having them wear masks.

So, who do you get to sing at the memorial?  Some 12 year old singing sensation from the UK. 

And the cycle goes on…

Is it me or was reporter Steve Ryan the aggressor here?

And what was he thinking?  The guy he’s pushing around was one big boy!

First of all let’s state this right up top.  My condolences to the family and friends of David Carradine.  Loss is never easy or funny.

The circumstance of death and the back story are of course another story.  David Carradine’s unfortunate death reminded me of what I said about Michael Hutchence’s death a few years back.

I must have hit on something because a friend of mine emailed earlier today referencing the comments I’d made when the INXS frontman died a little over 11 years ago.  Like Carradine’s family now, at the time of Hutchence’s death, his relatives and friends were  adamant that he had NOT committed suicide.  Their theory was autoerotic asphyxiation. 

If you don’t know what autoerotic asphyxiation is I’m not taking time to explain it here.  I’m sure it’s out there on the internet somewhere.  Let’s just say it’s for people who have just had it with run of the mill self-gratification.

But anyway, my reaction to Hutchence’s family fighting against suicide theories in favor of their explanation was a complete inability to understand their logic.

What I told anyone how’d listen to me go on about this (and trust me I did go on) was the following… Should I ever become a public figure who goes on to die a suspicious death that could be suicide or autoerotic asphyxiation, push the suicide theory.  Push suicide REALLY hard.

Here’s why… As an accomplished actor like David Carradine or a charasmatic lead singer like Michael Hutchence, I would rather people think that I was too fragile, too sensitive, too pure, too creative for this earth and I’d just given all that I could, rather than I simply couldn’t stop touching myself.

I like to set small goals as I travel through this life.  One of them is to not die in an embarrassing enough way to make the papers.  With any luck and some self control, I just might achieve that one.

As for Carradine and Hutchence, I hope they’re resting in peace, all their cares and worries behind them and maybe even enjoying a chuckle together over this post.

PS – Let me hear from you.  If you were in their shoes, would you want people to think it was suicide or AA?

For the last few weeks due to a variety of personal and professional demands, I haven’t been able to do a whole lot of blogging.  Luckily for me, Kenny Chesney had my back.

Quite some time ago, I wrote a pretty excellent post (if I do say so myself) discussing my personal reaction to Kenny Chesney’s need to admit he’d slept with over 100 women in order to help refute rumors that he was gay. 

I don’t care if Chesney is or isn’t gay.  My simple point was that 100 women fails what I called the “Gene Simmons Test”.  100 women isn’t a completely crazy amount of women for a guy who’s spent years at the top of the charts.  Even the Country charts…

Anyway, ever since I wrote that post, it’s been at the top of my personal charts.  Despite not writing for a while, I do check one or more times a day to see how many hits my blog has and what people are reading.

Over the last month, you’ve been reading the Kenny Chesney piece.  It’s been drawing people like moths to a flame or chubby suburban dads to bacon.  It’s incredible.  It’s the post that keeps giving… me blog hits.

It’s curious to see which posts catch fire and which do worse than die, those that are ignored.  This blog focuses mostly on sports and politics, but the reaction to Kenny Chesney makes me realize how much we love to dish celebs.

It also makes me realize how amazing the whole blogging phenomenon is.  Newspapers are going out of business and lone voices are generating tons of hits (though sadly no cash).  We’re clearly in the middle of a change.  Where exactly we’ll end up is anyone’s guess, but I’m enjoying the ride.

The Kenny Chesney piece also makes me realize that the web is forever.  What you put out there on an impulse can end up being seen by tons of people many many months later.  I think I’ve been pretty good at balancing my momentary passionate opinions with consideration for truth, balance and people’s feelings.  I don’t mind calling a stupid move a stupid move but I also don’t want to be guilty of taking cheap shots.

Especially if they’re not funny.

Anyway, thank you, Kenny Chesney.  Personally, I hope that people eventually stop worrying about your sexual orientation and I hope that whatever it is that it brings you pleasure.

Don’t know if this is real, but come on would it surprise you much if it was?

What is for sure true is that she doesn’t actually sing live in her performances.  Why anyone would pay money to see a performance that is essentially one step below karaoke is beyond me.

I’m way past my concert going days so I guess I’m old fashioned, but I have one simple requirement of my singers.  That they actually be able to sing.

Is that such a high bar?

Let me preface by saying that I always feel creepy when I post anything that smacks of a personal attack on someone for something they can not control like their looks.

That said, I must report that last night I discovered what the opposite of hot is while watching a re-run of 80’s sitcom Family Ties.  In the episode, the plot revolved around mom Elyse Keaton re-starting her folk singing career.

And there it was…. The opposite of hot is Meredith Baxter-Birney playing AND singing folk music.  As repulsed as I was, I could not turn away.  Maybe it was like slowing down to check out a highway accident as you drive by, but I couldn’t change the channel as Baxter-Birney sang snippets of five or more folk songs each one worse than the one before. 

Maybe I’m just a masochist.  Anyway, a couple of post scripts.

First, I think I was moved to write this post because the episode combined two things that I’ve never understood the appeal of:  Meredith Baxter-Birney and folk music.  Neither have ever done it for me and combining the two made it hypnotically bad and as a result, almost addictive.  It was like the evil twin of peanut butter cups, which of course combine two great things.

Second, while I’ll never apologize for my negativity toward folk music, it must be noted that my feelings on Ms. Baxter-Birney are just that, my personal reaction to her. 

Clearly, had we ever been single in Hollywood at the same time, Baxter-Birney would have thought herself out of my league.  And perhaps she would have been right.  Ms. Baxter-Birney has had an accomplished acting career and at least some of that is due to people generally finding her appealing and perhaps even attractive.  Again, I can’t really say as she just doesn’t do it for me.

I think the root of my problem with Baxter-Birney may go to my high school geometry teacher.  Let’s call her Ms. Geometry.  Ms. Geometry looked like Baxter-Birney and came off a bit like the ex-hippie that Baxter-Birney played in Family Ties. 

Ms. Geometry came into my life just as I was in the midst of full blown puberty.  She was attractive, but completely humorless and seemingly devoid of any personality.  The combination was mighty confusing to this teenage boy.  At a time when my hormones made almost any breathing human female not related to me seem HOTT, Ms. Geometry’s lack of personality actually turned me off.  During this time, she was probably the first attractive woman I knew to be able to accomplish that feat.

So there it it.  That’s the reason I don’t find Meredith Baxer-Birney attractive.  She reminds me of my high school geometry teacher.

And they say teachers don’t have an impact…