Bill Clinton got spiritual counseling.  Eliot Spitzer dragged his poor shell shocked wife to the podium with him as he let the world know he’d been spending time and money with call girls.  Jim McGreevey decided he was a gay American.

And now South Carolina’s sometimes absent Governor Mark Sanford is taking it all to a new level.  First, he’s caught in a more dramatic way than anyone before him.  But that’s nothing compared to when he got started talking!

Here’s just a bit of what we’ve learned so far.  The affair in question was no run of the mill booty call.  No.  This was a love story.  I’m sure his wife was glad to hear that.  Then, he referred to his mistress as his soul mate.  Again, not thrilling for Sanford’s wife to hear. 

Sanford admitting trying to break off the affair multiple times, but he just couldn’t.  You know, cause this was his soul mate after all.  Soon after coming out with all those beauties, the governor admitted crossing the line (but NOT SEX) with other women.  That was restricted to the soul mate, who was not his wife.

And now, just moments ago, I saw a web headline stating that Sanford is saying he thinks it’s possible that his wife might forgive the affair.  Perhaps she’s coming around to understanding that what this is is indeed a tragic love story in which the gov just could resist pursuing his one true love?  Seems like a long shot to me.  But what do I know about their marriage?

I try really hard not to attack people’s personal lives, but Sanford is making it trulyimpossible to avoid commenting.  His behavior is unbelievable.  At minimum, he’s showing a true disregard for his wife and family by continuing to talk and reveal personal  business in a misguided attempt to save his political future.

On the other hand, his strategy seems so ill advised that it’s got me thinking the goal isn’t to repair his future prospects so much as to get his wife to dump him.  Maybe he’s a romantic after all and just does want to be with his Argentinian lover.

Whatever the case may be, I’m fed up with cheating politicians who feel they must apologize and share details with the public that the public has little right to know. 

Kennedy never apologized.  Sure the press was different back then, but the point’s the same.  Kennedy, for whatever his flaws, was a man who stood by his decisions and actions.

Just once I’d like to hear a politician say “you know what, I did it and it’s none of your business why”  or if he/she had to reveal info than I’d like it go more like this:

“I cheated cause my partner and I are done.  Our marriage is a shell.  There’s no more sex between so went looking elsewhere in a misguided attempt to find affection”

OR

“You know what?  Sex with one person for the rest of my life just wasn’t my bag, man.”

OR EVEN

“No freaking comment!”

Now THAT would be refreshing.

I want one!!

Let’s get this out of the way.  I vote.  And I’ve got lots of opinions.  And a little free time (not much), so that’s why I blog.

But today I did something I’ve never done before.  I actually wrote to my rep in the House.  A friend of mine is spearheading a campaign to get support for a bill coming up that would require insurance companies to pay for treatments that can really help autistic children.

My friend lept into action once his child was diagnosed.  Sadly, his is not the only family I have met touched by autism.  I’m sure you can say the same.

What the cause is we don’t know.  What the cure is we can’t say, yet. 

What we do know is that more and more cases are being diagnosed.  And while there’s not a cure, there are some things that can help.  Unfortunately, loving parents are finding out that their health insurance is not always set up to cover the expenses.  So, children and families suffer.

Now is an incredibly tough time for all of us.  Yet, I think we should all be able to agree that we should take care of kids first and foremost no matter what. 

Here’s how you can do your part.  Click on the link below for the Autism Votes website.

http://www.autismvotes.org/site/c.frKNI3PCImE/b.3909853/k.BE44/Home.htm?sid=256275368

From there all you have to do is send one little email to your representative in the House.  Took me all of 3 and a half minutes.

I thank you for your consideration.

Let me preface by saying that I always feel creepy when I post anything that smacks of a personal attack on someone for something they can not control like their looks.

That said, I must report that last night I discovered what the opposite of hot is while watching a re-run of 80’s sitcom Family Ties.  In the episode, the plot revolved around mom Elyse Keaton re-starting her folk singing career.

And there it was…. The opposite of hot is Meredith Baxter-Birney playing AND singing folk music.  As repulsed as I was, I could not turn away.  Maybe it was like slowing down to check out a highway accident as you drive by, but I couldn’t change the channel as Baxter-Birney sang snippets of five or more folk songs each one worse than the one before. 

Maybe I’m just a masochist.  Anyway, a couple of post scripts.

First, I think I was moved to write this post because the episode combined two things that I’ve never understood the appeal of:  Meredith Baxter-Birney and folk music.  Neither have ever done it for me and combining the two made it hypnotically bad and as a result, almost addictive.  It was like the evil twin of peanut butter cups, which of course combine two great things.

Second, while I’ll never apologize for my negativity toward folk music, it must be noted that my feelings on Ms. Baxter-Birney are just that, my personal reaction to her. 

Clearly, had we ever been single in Hollywood at the same time, Baxter-Birney would have thought herself out of my league.  And perhaps she would have been right.  Ms. Baxter-Birney has had an accomplished acting career and at least some of that is due to people generally finding her appealing and perhaps even attractive.  Again, I can’t really say as she just doesn’t do it for me.

I think the root of my problem with Baxter-Birney may go to my high school geometry teacher.  Let’s call her Ms. Geometry.  Ms. Geometry looked like Baxter-Birney and came off a bit like the ex-hippie that Baxter-Birney played in Family Ties. 

Ms. Geometry came into my life just as I was in the midst of full blown puberty.  She was attractive, but completely humorless and seemingly devoid of any personality.  The combination was mighty confusing to this teenage boy.  At a time when my hormones made almost any breathing human female not related to me seem HOTT, Ms. Geometry’s lack of personality actually turned me off.  During this time, she was probably the first attractive woman I knew to be able to accomplish that feat.

So there it it.  That’s the reason I don’t find Meredith Baxer-Birney attractive.  She reminds me of my high school geometry teacher.

And they say teachers don’t have an impact…

Sure, it’s a blatant promotion for a movie, but it’s worth a look cause it’s funny and true!

Let me preface by saying I’m not a country music fan.  I barely know who Kenny Chesney is.  I don’t care if he’s gay or not.  I have no issue with consenting adults being gay or straight.  Whatever floats your boat and doesn’t hurt anyone else is fine by me.

All that said, man oh man, Kenny Chesney came off like quite an idiot this week.  Not being the biggest Renee Zellwiger fan, although it must be said I did enjoy the first Bridget Jones movie, I barely remembered that Chesney was briefly married to her.  Furthermore, I didn’t realize that she’d sued for divorce on the grounds of fraud, which apparently has led some to conclude and whisper that Chesney likes guys rather than women.

I have no idea whether that’s true or not and could care less.  The point here is that I had no idea of any of this.  I do now and it’s thanks to Kenny Chesney, who years after his divorce is still busy rehashing it.

Chesney doesn’t want us to think he’s gay.  He even went so far as to let the world know that he’s bedded over 100 women in his lifetime.

All it’s served to do is inform people like me that he is rumored to be gay and in fact served to make those rumors more credible.

Chesney’s strategy failed on two fronts.  First, he simply protested too much.  It’s like a bigot who’s over eager to let you know some of his best friends are Jews or Hispanics or Country Stars.  You know you’re being sold a bill of goods.  Want another analogy?  Why not?  It’s Saturday after all and we’ve got some time.  Chesney busting out his list of sexual conquests is like that guy who secretly thinks his package is too small and buys a Corvette or Hummer to compensate.  You know who you are….

Secondly, Chesney’s stategy failed due to the Gene Simmon’s effect.  Chesney is a massive country star and has been one for years.  Yet, he’s barely over triple digits in terms of sexual partners.  And he’s bragging about that??  Somewhere Gene Simmons is laughing his a#s off.

Is it proof he’s gay?  Of course not, but I never asked the question in the first place.  Still if Chesney’s trying to convince me he loves women so much than he should have picked a number that would have been more respectable in comparison to the Kiss legend.

Is that too much to ask?

PS – Below is a picture of Kenny Chesney with a supermodel, which is further proof (I suppose he’d argue ) that he’s not gay.

PPS – Below is a picture of Chesney with former bride Zellwiger.  Body language kind of foretells a lot about their future, eh? Could they be further apart and more awkward?  And what’s with the hand in the pocket, Kenny?

American politicians have taught us so many things over the years.  This week, they reminded us that  when it comes to cheating, for cheaters it’s CLEARLY a lot about opportunity.

Example:  She’s kinda cute (sort of – not my taste).  But, you’d think if you’re a potential VP or potential future President and looking to cheat, you might be able to do a little better.   And when I say a little better I really mean A LOT BETTER.  Ask yourself this, is she she worth giving up that kind of future for? 

And then there’s this couple…  Beyond a shadow of a doubt a sitting President of the United States coulda, shoulda and woulda done better than this…  But, again it’s all about the opportunity.  With the eyes of the media upon him 24/7, it’s not like Bill Clinton was free to cruise bars.  Guess an intern playing around in the oval office seemed like the safest bet at the time.  Still, would you risk facing your wife’s wrath over Monica Lewinsky?  Now ask yourself the same question, but this time imagine that your wife is Hillary Clinton…  Bill Clinton liked to live on the edge, no doubt!

Way back in JFK’s day, the press was in on the party so that allowed Jack Kennedy to score many of the hottest ladies of his day and of course the legendary Marilyn Monroe.  Take a look at this picture, this was back when it was still good to be the king.  There’s a reason the man looks so happy.

And to me, if you’re going to cheat, risk causing your family pain and potentially torpedo your political career than you should at least hook up with someone on the level of a Marilyn Monroe.   If you’re kinkier, I’m thinking a lost weekend at Camp David with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders would be a good way to go…

Is that too much to ask of our leaders?

America, we can be great again!

I’ll admit it.  I’m a John Edwards fan.  I thought his message during the Democratic primary season was the one that offered up the most hope for the largest group of Americans – those of us stuck somewhere in the middle.  Edwards’ message, which to me always echoed Bill Clinton’s campaign themes, was that he actually cared about average Americans who played by the rules and worked for a living.

These days, government is funded by and in the pocket of major corporations and the mega-rich, so they of course get taken care of. (Edwards himself took every opportunity to hammer this home and I admired him for it)  The poor get some, but probably not enough attention and in between the rest of us struggle to tread water economically.  This was Edwards message.  I think I’m not exagerrating when I say this was clearly his passion.

Although he ended up not winning the nomination, I do think his campaign could rightly claim that he’d greatly influenced the messages coming out of the Clinton and Obama campaign juggernauts.

Unfortunately, today we found out that John Edwards has some other similarities with Bill Clinton and it involves a whole ‘nother kind of passion.  Personally, I’ve always taken more of a European view on politicians and their sex life.  My feeling is I’m not voting for them for their marital skills.  I’ll take a cheating spouse who’s an effective leader over a faithful spouse who can’t get things done on behalf of the people he or she represents.  Basically, I feel cheating is between a politician and his wife unless either me or my wife is somehow involved personally (which so far we’ve happily managed to avoid).

That ALL said, cheating on your wife while she battles cancer is pretty tacky.  Bill Clinton was and remains a once in a lifetime American politician.  Clinton, through his charisma, determination and it saddens me to say a certain lack of shame, was able to survive admitting to multiple affairs.  For all their similarities, John Edwards is NO Bill Clinton.  The cancer factor, the fact that he’s a lawyer and most people are skeptical of them to begin with and his non-Clintonesqe lack of charisma add up to John Edwards being done.

John Edwards will not be a VP candidate this year.  John Edwards will never be president.

Based on his message and passion, Edwards cheated not only his wife, but America out of the good he could have done.  Remember, just because the guy turns out to be a creep doesn’t mean his message is automatically wrong.

Everyone deserves a second chance and here’s hoping that John Edwards is smart enought to make the most of his.  He can start by sparing his wife and us the spectacle of further admitions with his shell shocked wife at his side…

Here’s a link to a post I wrote about Edwards during the primaries for those interested:

http://fullcontactsports.wordpress.com/2008/01/06/john-edwards-won-the-debate/

Just a quick post on a hilarious radio commercial I heard as I was getting ready this morning.  The commercial was for a local horse racing track.  Apparently, they are trying to re-brand as a family fun center.

So, the track is offering free admission to kids under 12.  And, they are also offering some kid-centric activities to keep the kids busy while mommy & daddy are betting away their college funds.

Perhaps, I’m a prude or more conservative than I like myself to believe, but in my opinion kids don’t belong in the following places:

Strip Joints

Race Tracks

Political Conventions

Seriously, how can a race track really get us to believe that their business is a suitable place for kids?

Then again, it’s true doing things together as a family builds strong families.  So, if your pops is a degenerate gambler, I guess by hanging out at the track together you get to spend time with him and see him do something he loves.

I’ll give you two to one odds they’re on to something…

Last weekend, a fantastic thing happened while our family was killing time at a local mall.  In order to not have to endure their typical pleas of boredom while shopping, my wife and I finally did something smart.  We told our kids each of them would be able to spend some money from their piggy banks on whatever they wanted at the mall IF they were good.

Happy to report mission accomplished.  Our kids, who are usually pretty well behaved, were angels at the mall.   No hundred questions about when we are heading home.  No claims of being super tired.  No frustrated statements about how shopping for work shirts for daddy is deadly boring, which by the way it is.  Got to give them that one!

In return for their excellent behavior, we window shopped for them as we were looking for my boring work shirts.  My daughter instantly found several things she wanted to spend her hard earned money on.  While she was great at identifying things she’d like, she was less good at picking one thing to actually buy. 

My son, was not so lucky.  He couldn’t find anything he wanted because he had his mind set on adding to his Thomas train collection.  Mercifully, the mall had no Thomas paraphernalia.  Our house is already overflowing with Thomas and his ever-growing community of friends.

I did my best to find substitutes, but the kid is resolute when he’s got his mind made up.  The closest I got to helping him find an acceptable alternative was when, inspired by the recent release of the really bad looking movie Speed Racer (in fairness I haven’t seen the movie so it could be great although the reviews have not been kind) I tracked down a DVD of the original Speed Racer series, which I’d watched religiously as a kid.  The boy was tempted but didn’t give in.

We decided to take a lunch break to give our kids (mostly my daughter) time to decide what they wanted to buy.  After lunch, my daughter had gone over all her potential choices and made her final decision.  As we were paying for her toy, my son was still saying he was buying nothing at all if their were no Thomas toys to be had.

Having paid for my daughter’s choice, we were going to head home when my son caved to the reality that he was about to leave the mall empty handed.  Suddenly, that Speed Racer DVD that his Dad had excitedly pointed out to him seemed like a pretty good alternative. 

We headed to the DVD store.  My heart swelled with pride as my boy weighed which of the three classic Speed Racer DVDs to pick.  He made his pick.  We paid.  And on the way home in the family truckster, our kids decided they wanted to watch their new DVD.

My bride popped the Speed Racer DVD into the player while I tried to keep my eyes on the road and silently prayed that my kids would like Speed Racer, which I’d personally vouched for.  As the video started, it all came back to me.  The strange accents of the characters, their halting speech rhythms, the heavy handed right and wrong messages.  It was all there.  And although I could not see the “car wrestling match” episode that led off the DVD, I knew it was wonderful.

My kids were silent the whole way home.  It was a good sign.  Speed, Chim-Chim and Racer X had gripped my kids as strongly as they had gripped me three decades before.

Once we got home, the kids insisted on a marathon watching session.  I laid on the couch behind them enjoying the episodes as much as them, my childhood coming back to me.

When it was bed time, they wanted me to tell them stories of Speed Racer and his friends, which I gladly did.  When I left them to let them go to sleep, I realized that sharing Speed Racer with my kids and watching their joy in discovering something that they loved as much as I did when I was their age was my best parenting moment to date.

Thank you, Speed Racer.  You came through for me as a kid and even more so as a parent.  Speed, bad feature film or not, you rock!

It’s a week later.  My son has two Speed Racer PJs.  My kids play Speed Racer with their cars and they’ve discovered the new Speed Racer Next Generation TV series.

These days Thomas and his crew are feeling a tad lonely…

And I’m hoping it takes a good long time before Speed and his pals join them in lonely-ville.  If I’ve learned anything about parenting so far, it’s enjoy and appreciate all the good moments because they go by sooooo fast and you won’t get a second chance!