As some of you who’ve visited these pages before know, I’m fascinated by workplace bathroom behavior. Previously, I’ve twice described the adventures of a mystery man co-worker who seems to have confused the company toilet stall with a reading library.
But recently, I saw something else that perplexed me. A male co-worker of mine has repeatedly done this. He comes into the bathroom. So far so good. He washes his hands. OK, I’m feeling there’s something slightly unmasculine about making a special trip into the bathroom of a white collar office just to wash your hands, but whatever. I mean it’s not like he’s out there doing lube jobs or digging ditches. Why, even in this sensitive age, does a man doing office work make a special trip just to wash his hands?
Anyway, that’s where this guy always gets me. Just when his behavior has me obsessing over the hand washing, there’s a twist. After washing his hands. And remember I did say AFTER. He then uses the urinal and exits without re-washing his hands.
WTF is that about?
I’m a spur of the moment guy very comfortable with improvising and ad-libbing. Little else has gotten me this far through life after all. But really, everything has a limit. Some things are meant to be done in a certain order. It’s not my rules. It’s God’s rules. Man was meant to do certain things in certain ways. God says so.
Can I get an amen?
And one of God’s rules is first you pee and then you wash your hands. As a parent I know that. If you are a parent or had parents you know that. It’s the way it works.
How did my co-worker miss that important life lesson? We’ll never know for sure. But, I’m quite sure that somewhere God, whether you believe he is loving or vengeful, is very concerned. Free will is one thing. Peeing after washing your hands and then not re-washing…
That’s an abomination!
PS – This post is dedicated to my beautiful wife, who for some reason finds my posts on workplace bathroom habits entertaining. I love a woman with a slightly twisted sense of humor.
2 Comments
June 25, 2008 at 2:22 pm
I have a friend that does this wash-then-pee thing. His reasoning is that his hands are filthy from touching things like keyboards, door knobs, etc. and so it makes sense to wash before peeing. This actually makes sense. Who wants to transfer everything you’ve gathered on your hands onto their goods? Okay, so what about not washing afterwards? He claims that he’s got no diseases (after all, he does wash before peeing) and so there’s nothing transferring onto his hands during the pee process. While this might be true I would prefer he washes after. Maybe he could adopt the wash-pee-wash technique
June 25, 2008 at 7:50 pm
I agree with your solution. Wash-pee-wash is the way your friend should go.
Personally, I’m a pee then wash kind of guy. My goods can take a few germs…
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Tidewater